As some of you may know (particularly if we are Facebook Friends), I put out a picture with my own short saying each day on my Facebook Timeline. One of the ones this week, had ‘I See You’ on it and this resonated with a blog I read by Katherine Schafler today so it seemed appropriate to add my own comments around this.

Maya Angelou is one of my Role Models. I love her work, her voice, her sayings and her legacy lives on. Well it seems that she saw it that there are four questions we unconsciously ask all the time –

Do you see me?
Do you care that I’m here?
Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way?
Can I tell you that I’m special to you by the way that you look at me?

I am in total agreement with Maya – not simply because I adore her – with her questions (perhaps putting the third one differently) that this is what we do in some form or another in our life.

I can give you a real life example from my own life. When I have to deal with Health Professionals, particularly in a medical setting, I learned over the years, during and after my cancer, that I wanted them to see me. I wanted them to really see me by looking at me with their eyes in a way that said, ‘Oh yes, you are another human being and not just a patient or an object in front of me. I am interested enough in you to see you, however, briefly I share my time with you’.

I always wanted them to make a connection with me before they moved on after their words to placate me in some way. I am not ashamed to say that I even kicked up a real fuss when a Registrar totally ignored me and spoke to her students at the end of my bed as though I was not there! Yes, I made a complaint to her Consultant that, not only did she have no social skills, she was being rude by not acknowledging my existence!!


Being Seen and Valued

I have spoken many times in my blogs, articles and verbally that making connection is part and parcel of our existence right from the time we are born. It is paramount to us all in order for us to thrive.

We are saying to the other(s) that we see you and that you are valued human being. We are actually taking the time to see them.


Eyes are the Windows to the Soul

For me, the saying ‘Eyes are the Windows to the Soul’ is true as when my smile really reaches my eyes when I look at you (and not just the pretend smile), I am letting you in to my Soul. I am acknowledging your existence and feel connected with you – however fleetingly. I am saying, at that very moment, I am so pleased that you are alive.

Again, for myself, I am delighted when this happens to me as I feel the connection and I feel good. I have that inner smile again, and even my outer smile and my day seems much more alive. It’s a win-win situation for us all.

I am sure you will have had such experiences in your life too.

Go well and connect.

Irene Signature

I wanted to let you know that my Day Workshop in Cheshire was a big success with lovely women who were ready to learn more about themselves while connecting with one another and me. Well done for that connection for us all as our world gets larger with every real connection we make.

It would be great to connect with you at my London Day Workshop at the RadissonBlu Hotel on the 25th November and I look forward to seeing you there.

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One Response

  • Love this. It is so important to take the time to make connections with people, I also have shared a similar experience in a healthcare setting and good on you for saying something to them.

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