Listen to You

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LISTEN  TO  YOU

 

Are you going along with all this pressure out there from Social Media, those who have promised us that we can also ‘make it’ and live the kind of life they are living by paying them thousands of pounds or anything else in between to be  ‘The Perfect Professional, Speaker, Writer, Coach, Boss, Manager or even Mother, Partner, Friend,  …………….?

 

Perhaps you’re not and how lucky you are then.     All I can say is that for me that’s what I was unconsciously trying to do for many years until eventually I woke up and decided to see what this was all about.   I couldn’t cope with the weight on my shoulders any more.  The pressure was affecting me.

 

Beliefs

 

I don’t have any magic formula as I still have insecure thoughts and feelings on occasions.   I only knew I had to take the time to uncover the beliefs I was holding, whether consciously or unconsciously, to see where they came from and how they were playing out in my life in all different ways.     For me to uncover my core beliefs involved me in emotional turmoil (both positive and negative) before I could re-connect with that peace inside.      I didn’t have that mixture of fear and excitement in my explorations – just fear!    I might not be liked any more if I actually listened to myself!!!

 

And as you will all know, when we were young, we all wanted to be loved, accepted and included so we took on and absorbed the views of those around us.   Amongst other things, we felt scared, hurt, confused, angry or overwhelmed and so we concluded that ‘they’ were right in what they said, or even didn’t say as they withheld praise or whatever.    We had an intuitive antenna of what was acceptable or not – including us!!

 

And so we took on beliefs about the world and ourselves e.g. –

 

I’m not good enough

I’m not worthy

I mustn’t be visible

I must be visible

I mustn’t do this, that or the other or I won’t be liked and accepted

The world is dangerous

Don’t go there or do that

And so on

 

Gurus

 

This is how you coped with the world because you were little and they were the ‘big people’.  You needed to be part of a family, a community or something because that was just how it was.   No wonder we can be drawn to those we think have the answer to life (so called ‘Gurus’) when we, you and I, are doing the best we can at any one moment as we are only human.

 

Discontented

 

Nowadays, there can be even more pressure as what was perfectly acceptable is no longer okay so your expectations get higher of yourselves and others and then you feel discontented with life itself.    Yes, I know that In some cases, this discontentment can be what drives us on – gives us the fuel to ignite our fire! 

 

For others though it can drag you down, moan, groan and generally make life miserable all around for yourself and others.

 

Exercise

 

I’d like to suggest you try out what I’m going to suggest as if you hold a belief e.g. I am not worthy, I’d like you to say it as if it is 100% true over and over again, quietly or loudly depending on you.    What this will do is produce specific sensations in your body whether you are conscious of them or not – have a go.

 

Then I’d like you to shake that off in whatever way is right for you to let go (listen to your body and it may want to dance or run it off, laugh or cry, bash a pillow or whatever) and then to feel what it’s like to believe – I am a worthy human being.    Again feel the difference in your Body, Feelings and Mind.  This is called Reverse Psychology.

 

And so you have experienced the effect of having changed one of your beliefs (you can choose one appropriate for you) and so you can begin to see that you can change your life by taking charge of it – and so you!!!

 

You are not that little girl any more

 

If you accept and respect yourself then your own sense of self-worth will soar and then you will have some left over for others.   You are not that little girl any more.   You are a grown woman with so much to offer and can now stand up to all those voices inside you by telling them to go away.   And you will know that it is more important to look to your own inner wisdom, inner knowing and intuition rather than hand yourself over entirely to someone else’s advice.

 

You and I are fine as we are and when we come from that place, we can then choose to be in charge of ourselves and know what is right for us.

 

I’ll leave you with questions – Do you have to be perfect?   Can you be good enough and be able to celebrate you as a woman who is not perfect and who is able to celebrate being gloriously imperfect, and be more at peace with yourself?

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I hold a safe space for you as I have your back while you re-connect with that peace inside.  If you want to connect then email irene@irenebrankin.co.uk or via my website www.thevisiblewoman.com

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