THE INNER KILL !
This isn’t easy for me to write about today. The subject that is not normally talked about – perhaps only in a group or with a therapist or other trusted friends, and I would like to address it with you today.
Lack of Meaning
I see and hear so much of having no meaning in life whether said overtly or covertly. Victor Frankl (a Psychologist and Psychotherapist) called the feeling of emptiness, meaningless or purposelessness, the “existential vacuum”. This often results from a lack of connection to yourself and something larger than yourself.
The art of dying
It would seem that particularly nowadays, many of us can struggle with the “inner kill” – the art of dying without knowing it! This is when you can feel stuck in a kind of vocational quicksand or go through life in a rut or bored through the humdrum of meaningless tasks.
It seems like you are stuck in the pattern or habit of saying to yourself,
couldn’t do that even if I tried
why bother anyway?
it’s going to take too much energy
it’s too hard
……. (your own one here)
There is simply no compelling reason to get up in the morning. Nothing is growing or changing. Life continues at the same petty pace day in, day out. In this place, your talents and gifts are sleeping.
You are quite simply bored with yourself and your life. You are not living – only existing! It’s a living death to be here! This is the art of dying!
No wonder there is so much mental ill-health around nowadays, and also addictions as we search for meaning and connection with ourselves.
I am sure you know what stops you from choosing and taking action, and being visible to yourself and the world. It is fear.
It is fear of failure, of success, of rejection, of disappointment or even unconscious fears you don’t even know you have! And even of finding out that life is meaningless – has no purpose!!
What frees you is having the Courage to deal with your inner life. It doesn’t mean that you’re not afraid – it means, in spite of your fear, you do it anyway. And courage also means coming from your heart.
It’s the willingness to stop, face yourself and break through the limitations and pretences you have put on yourself, and take action for the greater good. I have said myself, and hear many others say, ‘My Life wasn’t supposed to turn out like this!’ This is when you need to stop and have the courage to allow yourself to grieve for what might have been. That’s when you say Stop It to that voice that says, ’It’s easier to carry on as usual’. No, it isn’t easier and I also know it is not easy to face yourself. And I know you have the courage to move out from the inner kill!!
If you are unabIe to do this by yourself perhaps through writing in your journal, I would suggest that you find someone or some people you trust who can support you to find the courage to say even more – Fuck It – and choose to have faith in yourself and your gifts and talents.
If you’d like to explore and have conversations on subjects like this, join my new Facebook Group? It’s called SIFITY (Stop It, Fuck It, Thank You) and it’s for those women who are on the road to facing their denial and owning ‘I Am Enough’ x