I am writing this as the snow is coming down in my area. It is lovely to be warm and snug inside and now outside where it is now turning to slush. It’s been a good reason for me to do as little as possible except to stop and do a bit of reflection. I wonder if you’ve ever done that? If not, when you do I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at how far you’ve come, and what you’ve achieved during that time.

And it isn’t only what you’ve done in the outer world. It is also looking to see all the inner changes you have made too. I am sure they will also surprise you.


On my journey to being a Chartered Counselling Psychologist, I had lots of therapy – not only because it was a requirement of my Psychotherapy Training Organisation (The Psychosynthesis Trust in London) but because I knew I needed it. I learned so much about myself and also how I had to take back so much of what I saw was everyone else’s fault – Oh, no way was it me!!! It was all being done to me!! It was all their fault!!


Even now, on occasions when someone frightens, hurts, ridicules, embarrasses or somehow disrespects me in some way, I can feel my openness to life and my faith in human beings being shaken – that inner light turns down and dims a little.

What I have done at those times is to become smaller to protect myself and my heart. I have allowed myself to shrink and become invisible. Or else I have closed my heart in retaliation and anger.


There has been at times, a subtle shift (and not so subtle – like being hit over the head with a hammer!!) in my awareness. The growing quality of my experience has changed as I’ve connected with myself. I have the awareness that I can have compassion for myself when my thinking and behaviour are incongruent (I am only human) and for others too. I know that, however the other is towards me, I have choice in how I react. And their behaviour or attitude may say nothing (or very little) about me and say more about them!


I am more able to see the wonder in life and that we are all connected in some way. You may also have experienced that subtle or obvious connection. I would say that you will all have had them and simply don’t always recognise them. There has to be a moment when you’ve been caught by the beauty or wonder or magic in life through music, children, art, being united in something with others, laughter, sharing, learning, prayer…………………. These are the times when you know that there is a marvel and vitality to all life, and what happens in your heart is what connects you to yourself and others.


A learning that I’d like to share with you is that those of you, women, who think they are scared of life, actually have the courage to be in it. Why? Because you put yourselves forward time and time again. You allow yourselves to be visible in many different ways, from the little to the large.

Another learning to share with you is that what you express in the world, e.g. a beautiful smile – then you give smiles, clarity then you give clarity, singing then you sing, that these are your purposes. Your purpose doesn’t have to be a huge thing. There are not many of us who can be a Nelson Mandela or Oprah Winfrey for example. In my opinion, your purpose in being here is to be Yourself – to express you into the world.

Your Bank

When you do stop and take your life all in, you’ll be able to breathe into it and see that when you had tough times you also had lots of good times, support and adventures. These are all in the bank of you, ready to withdraw when you need that little bit of encouragement when you’re thrown off track. It is good to linger over, and breathe into, those times that have been a delight especially when you look back at them.

So my final learning for you is for you to believe in yourself, and trust that you only have to breathe into that feeling of love to let it fulfil you. When you accept you in the craziness of life, you will accept how amazing you are, and connect with your delight in life.

Irene Signature

GREAT NEWS – I will be at London Olympia, on 16th-17th February, 2018, at the BestYou Expo Event for Professional & Personal Development. I am speaking on Friday, 16th February at 1.30 pm on ‘The Almost Nearly Confident and Successful Woman’, and it’d be nice to see you there xx

I sit alongside successful women while they are connecting with their value and worth so they can really delight in being themselves. If you are interested, then contact me and we can arrange to have a chat.

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