Permission to be sad
Do you know those times in the day or week or month or year when you become aware of a feeling(s) of sadness and you don’t know what it’s about or where it’s come from? As it is part of the human condition, I am sure you have in some way or another. This feeling can be a fleeting moment or even a long spell of time.
What’s it all about?
I don’t know what it is for you and I know that I can spend ages racking my brain as to what it’s all about. You see for me when I find out what’s causing it, I can then say to myself ‘Oh, that’s why’, but it doesn’t always help – the knowing that is!!
I go through everything that could possibly be the reason –
I’ve been beating myself up
I didn’t do something or another
I’ve been pretty horrible to someone
Just seen or heard that someone has died or been injured
I’m getting older, weigh too much, too many wrinkles
Watching life’s horror story unravelling on TV
I miss the old excitement in my life
You can add any of your own here as I could go on and on!!
And sometimes you can’t find a reason. It is how it is – I am Sad. And it is fine to be Sad and I am giving you permission to allow yourself to be with your sadness.
Being a Mirror
You see, sadness is rarely allowed in our world. I truly understand when family and friends (not just me) want to know why I am sad. They care about me. And sometimes it can be too much for them and they want me to be back to ‘the me without the sadness’. My sadness can tap into theirs – I am a mirror – and so I may choose to smile for their sake. I am sure you know what I am talking about.
I have seen it, not just with adults, but sometimes when children try to share their sadness, some can be told to ‘not be silly’, ‘what have you to be sad about?’ or being repeatedly asked ‘what is wrong with you’ and so on – even when they are being held in a loving, warm way (and, of course, many are not).
I want you to give yourself permission to allow your sadness to be here (whenever it is around). I am allowing mine to have the space it needs. I am accepting and honouring that this is what I am feeling right now. Who knows or cares what it is all about? This is how it is and I am connecting with myself and what is happening inside. You see then I can allow it to be when I do this.
I want to add, of course, that I could have put any other title at the top of this blog – permission to have fun, be angry, laugh, cry, be scared….. – and the same could apply!!!!!!!!!!!!