self care

CARING FOR YOURSELF

 

I’d like to start with my point of view first and then hope to hear from some of you as to yours.

My view is that caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It is really a matter of seeing yourself as being deserving of being taken care of by you without feeling guilty about it.

Self-ish

I also hold that selfishness can even be healthy at times. Yes really, despite perhaps being told by all and sundry the complete opposite over many years!!

I am going to use a really simple old example here to give you an idea of something from my childhood. You might have experienced being told off for not sharing whatever or being told to let others go first in choosing the best biscuit. I know I was and that’s why I still, even now, buy that ‘best biscuit’ to eat all by myself and yes, I do actually share them too.

Now as an adult, I see it that sometimes it is necessary to be ‘self-ish’ in the sense of balancing (not always easy, I know) your own needs with those of others so you are not taken advantage of.

I am a person in my own right

 It is all about ensuring you are able to put in your own boundaries. The benefits of doing so are telling the world, ‘I am a person in my own right’.

This is basic self-respect and wanting things for yourself does not take away your true caring for others.

Taking your own needs into account is simply a way to include yourself in the picture.

Freedom of Choice

When you allow yourself the freedom of choice – the freedom of choosing when not to care, when to say ‘NO’ and when to say ‘YES’ – you will begin to be able to breathe more easily, and because of this you will have more energy to step back and to take life lightly as well as seriously.

You then have a choice about doing and being what you so wish, and you don’t have to be a ‘YES’ woman.   You can start to truly be Yourself as you don’t have to hide behind the mask of niceness or to have the approval and inclusion from others. Of course, it is important to acknowledge how it does feel when you have that approval or are included – it does feel nice so no wonder we do it!!

When you have boundaries, include and respect yourself, you will stop being manipulated by others and you don’t have to be who anyone else wants you to be! Isn’t that a lovely thought or feeling as you can be YOU!!

I’d like to leave you with this – You owe yourself the opportunity to come back to Yourself by Caring for YOU.

Go Well.

Irene Signature

 

I am so excited that my 10 week Online Course – ‘Stop It, Fuck It, Thank You’ – begins in the Autumn so contact me irene@irenebrankin.co.uk for further details.

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4 Responses

  • Like they say during the safety demonstration on aeroplanes: “Put your oxygen mask on first, then help others”. If you don’t take care and honour yourself first you will never be able to take care and honour others, whether they are clients, family, friends, co-workers, strangers.

    Still loving the name of your online course 🙂

  • I work in a community where people are often accused of being selfish when what they are really doing is an act of self-preservation. I love the concept of “put your own oxygen mask on first” and this was the subject of an article I recently published in my on-line magazine. If you don’t take care of your own well-being you cannot help others.

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