Hands Up for Hugs

HANDS UP FOR LONGER HUGS OR SIMPLY HUGS???

I ask you to be a wee bit patient here before I get to the ‘hugs’ bit – thank you. I know it’s important that you read the first bit too.

Painful feelings

Many of us hide painful feelings whether that’s sadness, feeling lonely, being in pain, or simply feeling lost and afraid because it’s still not really okay to show or share these except in certain circumstances or with certain people.

It’s tough to keep swallowing back our needs and to ask for help in any way so we strive to show the world that we are totally fine in whatever form that means for you ……….. (you can add your own one to the list)

by putting on a face that the world wants to see

by being busy, busy,

by trying to have lots of fame and fortune,

by focussing attention and energy purely on family, work or social media to your own detriment

by talking or laughing too much

by not allowing our vulnerability to be seen

It may be that you are dispirited in some way or that you are simply exhausted – who knows? What do we all need?We all need to be seen, acknowledged, be included and to be part of something whether a group, a family, a community…… It is indispensable nourishment for our soul. When this need isn’t met, it leads to pain inside you that is all the more searing when you are conscious of it.

 Research

I didn’t know this so for me (and hopefully you) this is useful information from a Robert Milstein –

“The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere hug produces a hormone called “oxytocin”, also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful calming is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, we cradle a child, we cherish a dog or cat, we’re dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or just hold the shoulders of a friend.”

W a s n ’ t   t h a t   w or t h   w a i t i n g   f o r ???

To have this wonderful information that proves what you and I have known all along – the benefits of genuine hugging!!

The Asking

The one thing for me is that we can all forget to do is to ask for help and support. It is as simple and as hard as that!! The important thing is the Asking as until you ask, you can’t receive i.e. anything different from what you have now.

If you are lucky enough, sometimes a person spontaneously will be there for you as they are aware that you simply need that support – to feel someone is there who doesn’t want anything from you.

 Touch and Hugging

In my years of being around, I’ve been lucky enough to have had many different kinds of healing touch – reflexology, massages of different traditions, reiki – too many to put down here. For me, benevolent touching is a very old way of healing.

This kind of focussed physical contact most probably stimulates our life-force, not just on an emotional level but on a biological level inside our very cells. Something in touching strengthens the will to live in us. It allows us to receive that moment or more of letting go to, and trusting another. When we get a real, giving hug, we can feel supported and lean upon someone and rest.

For me, the healing comes about not by saying anything but by letting another know that their pain, their suffering and their fear matters. You are giving them refuge and silently saying, ‘I see YOU and YOU really matter”.

So are you with me? Is your hand up for more of the giving and receiving of Hugs? I hope so because mine definitely is!!

If my words touch you and you want to know that you really matter, then contact me (irene@irenebrankin.co.uk) and let’s see how I can do that for you.